Flallins win!

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Flallins win!

Postby tysok » Thu Feb 09, 2006 9:14 pm

"Flallins win! Flallins win! Oh my god the Flallins win!" That was the call fans heard, and had been waiting to hear for quite some time, from the Flallins game announcer Bob Uek-orc.

A battle of the cellar dwellers tonight results in the first Flallins contested win of the season, 23-4 over Johnny's The Macks.

Lomakag and Quepinkr, who both gained a seasons worth of experience at center tonight, gave interviews remarkably similar to each other. They both said, verbatim, "It feels so much better to win when you've actually played a game!"

The Flallins first win was a forfeit.

When asked how he would celebrate, 1st line wing Langdiralip (who has 39/100 fatigue after the game) replied "I'm going to bed, get the hell out of my way!"
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Postby Brakgwar » Fri Feb 10, 2006 10:20 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby tysok » Mon Feb 13, 2006 8:23 pm

Flallins are on a winning streak, they've just won their third in a row. Everyorc seems to be tired, they didn't even bother to take off their sweaty armor before going to bed tonight.

One would think that with the string of wins the fans might take the bounty off the overlord's head, but when asked about it one fan had this to say "It's great, but it all started when we put that bounty on his head and he went into hiding... no one's heard from him since... we know cuz we tapped the phones! I don't know who's runnin the team right now, but he needs to stay and that overlord needs to stay in hiding where he belongs!"

This reporcter didn't have the heart to mention to these fans that the Flallins have won two of those games from an overlord who didn't put any bids in on the first day. "It's sad... it's really sad" said our sporcs analyst.
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Postby tysok » Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:33 pm

There was an odd occurence tonight at the end of the Flallins game. It seems no one really wanted the ball. Zawdreq, the teams center in the... well... center... of this play said "Was late, we would win, we want sleep". Elequently put. Here's the play by play:

Period 3, 43: Ognasduk passes to Zawdreq.
Period 3, 39: Zawdreq passes to Thusadip who drops the ball!
Period 3, 33: Thusadip passes to Zawdreq who drops the ball!
Period 3, 27: Thusadip passes to Selknidaspit who drops the ball!
Period 3, 22: Ognasduk passes to Thusadip.

Ognasduk, the goalie, apparently decided enough was enough.
On another note, both the 1st and 2nd line of the defense was asleep on the bench at the end of the game. Keeping orcs from falling asleep during game time is something the overlord needs to work on. :)
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Postby tysok » Thu Feb 23, 2006 8:17 am

Report from the Fallin County star. Fallins, Death Reapers, blood and gore, shiny things, and where not to go for English as a second language classes!


Flallins and the Death Reapers meet for their second game tonight. The last time these teams met it was a bloody affair with the Flallins losing 10 to 8.
The Flallins are coming off an ugly 18 to 0 loss to the Psychotropic Soiree. The Death Reapers are coming off a nice 24 to 7 win over the kl;sadjf.

The teams overlord, finally out of hiding after helping his team battle back to a 5-8 record... and the fans mostly not caring anymore, said "Not too worry, not to worry... the last game we played our second line! The best players were sitting on the third line resting up after our first grueling 12 games, and getting ready to exact some level of revenge on the Death Reapers."

It should (hopefully) be a pretty good game. The leagues 4th (Flallins) and 5th (Reapers) goalies, the leageus 6th (Flallins) and 2nd, 8th (Reapers) best point scorers, and the leagues 1st (Flallins) and 2nd, 3rd, 7th (Reapers) best faceoff winners.

"And we can't forget!" The Flallins overlord speaking to the fan (yes fan) at this mornings pep rally says "We have the 1st and 3rd best interception throwers, and the 2nd and 3rd best pass droppers in the league! ... huh?" We see one of the Flallin's aids run up to the podium and briefly converse with the overlord then we overhear "Oh! Those are bad things? Ummm.... AHEM... never mind what I just said! We have the 4th best goalie in the league!"

Is there any wonder why the overlord was in hiding with a price on his head?

We interviewed Ofgvlz, one of the Flallins stars, 1st line Center, who is the leagues 6th best scorer, 6th best 3pt scorer, and 10th best 1pt scorer and he had this to say. "Fans no worry, we do otay donighd. Me have new shiny armor, whole suid. We all 1st line have new shiny armor, but me have full suid. Me the uberestestest. No worry, new shiny armor win ober dem Dead Reapers olt shiny armor all daysong... long dat is. Sory, me english not so goot, de deachers ad de colage I be much badder in foowa to six mo yeers."

Last time these teams met the field turned red from Flallins blood, and it took grounds crews five days to retrieve all the body parts from Flallins players that were strewn about. We look for at least green grass after this one.
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Postby tysok » Thu Feb 23, 2006 8:31 am

There's also been a report rumored that a special offical request has been made to the overlord of the Death Reapers to play naked tonight. The Fallins overlord can't be found, and we don't have any access to the Death Reapers overlord, so this will have to remain a rumor. This reporcter wonders just how confident the Fallins can be if they've really made such a request. It's highly out of the ordinary...

We just hope that there isn't a Orc league pinup calender coming out anytime soon, hopefully this is just paranoia on the part of the Flallins overlord and not some sinister scheme like that. When asked about such a possibility the Flallins assistant stroked his moustache and commented "Hmm... we do need some extra cash..."
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Postby tysok » Thu Feb 23, 2006 8:32 pm

I see fields of red... red and.... red... and more red... The Flallins grounds crew will be trying to clean this mess up for months, it's estimated that it'll take the entire off season and MAY be clean again in time for opening day next season.

The Flallins overlord fainted when his assistant handed him the projected medical bill after the game, 4,978 gold. The Flallins centers were squished like insects on the windshield of the juggernaut of the Death Reapers. All three lines are below 14 health. Wings faired only slightly better with 2 players having 16 health. It took 2 lines of Defenseman, even that second line is half dead. 4 bench players also played, they're half dead as well.

It was an 8-3 loss by the Flallins, the 3 points coming from Thusadip, a second line center, scored while the Death Reapers were apparently in a huddle deciding which Flallins player they should attempt to kill next.

We attempted to find some Flallins players for quotes, but none were available. They had apparently run home and hidden under their beds. The Flallins face the Death Reapers again in 2 days, most of the players listed in the Flallins 3 line depth chart have threatened retirement... we'll see how that works out over the next day or two.
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Postby tysok » Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:53 am

A compromise was reached today between Flallins management and players. Originally a press release said "because of strong Flallin player union activity everyone would sit out the next game against the Death Reapers in order to 'create a more perfect union between management and team... as well as keep players from retiring that is'."

Most of the third line and the backup players, who incidentally didn't actually get into the last game against the Death Reapers, set about laughing at the other players... calling them names such as coward and scaredy flallins... and not letting them play in any reindeer games............. we're not sure what that means exactly.

Consequently the Flallins management has released a new press release this morning. Lines 1 and 2, the members more threatening retirement, will sit out. The back ups and other reindeer game players will take over.

Lomakag and Vekgerzerd, the teams line 1 centers who both needed help leaving the field after the last game (despite a full suit of chain armor and reinforced plate socks), both said (while laughing hysterically it might be pointed out) "Fine, see if they can roll those reindeers when they haven't got any arms!"

Ofgvlz, one of the line 1 wings and best point scorer on the team, said "That be fine wid me, they want be stomped on that they bidnes. Me no want go tonide."
Ognasduk, the 4th best goalie in the league and has played every minute this year, said "I not lamb, no sacrifice is I. Let little ones play, they deserve some pain... uh... glory I meaned."

There hasn't been any word about the rumored request of the Death Reapers playing naked the last game. However, this reporcter believes that if it was merely a rumor a couple days ago, surely after that bloody mess the other night a REAL request has been made this time.

As a side note, we did run into Vepfoytr last night in town. He's a defenseman for the Death Reapers, we asked him to go on record with some remarks concerning the Flallins.... unfortunately Vepfoytr refused, by ripping off the reporcters arms and taking them with him. The reporcter needed emergency shaman support, he's listed in satisfactory condition at Flallinville hospital. We have officially sent a request to Brakgwar, the Death Reapers overlord, to have the arms returned to us... we haven't heard back as of print time.
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Press release for Brakgwar the overlord of the Death Reapers

Postby Brakgwar » Sat Feb 25, 2006 10:46 am

Brakgwar "Brakgwar can no help wit arm...... Vepfoytr have a bigz collection ud armz and he say he wud mizzin a reporter set tu fill hid collection... well he sez hez missin some Goaliez arms to.." Grinning the Overlord turned and walked back inside the Offices.
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Postby tysok » Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:43 pm

Flallins lost. 15-4.

The Flallins have a medical bill of 3,524 gold. The Death Reapers killed one, Qudirarei died... but not only did he die... he's fatigued as well, 41/100. He's played 1 minute as a wing before tonight, played 18 minutes as a center tonight. He's been only a looter for the Flallins this year, 19 forays collecting 1,105 gold, taking 167 damage, and collecting stuff 1 time. Yet he was beaten to fatigue tonight, before finally being put out of his mysery. He was wearing 3 pieces of chain and he's tough 4. He took 25 hits while giving 24 tonight.... apparently he sucks... which would explain why he's been on the bench the previous 15 games.

The only question is if the Flallins can capitalize on their strategy now... to be humilated in order to make a final run for the playoffs...
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Postby tysok » Mon Feb 27, 2006 8:23 pm

The Flallins lose a close one, and their hopes for the season.

A 9-6 loss to the Chaos tonight leaves a bad taste in the mouths of the Flallins players... and unlike the game against the Death Reapers the other night that taste isn't blood. After resting up against the Reapers of Death the Flallins were looking for a series of wins, and some luck, in order to make the playoffs. With tonights loss the slim chance that existed has evaporated like Twixnotkipo's brass knuckles (he seems to have gone through an ungodly amount this season delivering his 428 hits so far).

We can expect the Flallins to have about 10% of their current players at the beginning of their next season... as long as Flallins management can count to 10 which no ones really all that positive about.
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Postby tysok » Wed Mar 01, 2006 9:26 pm

The Flallins overlord held a press conference tonight officially requesting the ability to bribe other overlords. "If I could only bribe the best team in the league to play their back ups against us we could have a shot at the playoffs" cried the Flallins overlord!

We're not sure of the legality of this, but since players are being killed on the field it doesn't seem that it would spark a controversy like that of the 1919 Black Sox. However, by pointing out that he would bribe the top team in the league if he could, he has laid the blame for the failure of a season on the doorstep of the commissioner instead of himself....... not a bad move considering the Flallins overlord spent most of the season in exile, hiding from a bounty placed on his head by his adoring.... err.... well the fans of the Flallins.

:lol: :lol:
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Postby tysok » Thu Mar 16, 2006 9:35 am

The Flallins finished their season 7 and 14, a pathetic showing from the rookie overlord. With the city in lockdown we can now analyze the entire season. With the extensive use of the regeneration chamber this season, in fact at one point city officials were going to sue him for the use of so much power (however, they were unable to find him to issue the summons and finally gave up), it's astounding to see only 3 orcs in the chamber today.
The Flallins scored the fewest and let in the most points of all teams, a number slightly skewed since the overlord basically forfeited two games. That's hard on the point totals, but easy on the orcs. It seems the overlord did what he could at the end of the season to be conservative with the city's power.

Tysok believes he's in pretty good shape for going into his next season. "We have money, and we've shaken loose some... uh... dead weight." The Flallins are sitting on nearly 14,000 gold tonight and have paid their rollover costs on all 18 orcs they intend to keep. Looking over the list of those staying with the team this reporcter inquired about 2 that didn't even play on the field this season, "Well... I uh... I got punchy in the roll over screen I guess. They were good looters and uh... I guess I let their ability to pillage our city cloud my judgement."

It looks like the pillaging of Flallinville, which so far has remained an unsolved set of crimes, may have just been solved. Authorities are looking into this, but Tysok the overlord has been very resourceful in his ability to hide from people this season. If he could elude the fans of the Flallins, which very much wanted him dead, he should easily be able to elude the authorities in this matter... as long as he avoids the city donut shop.

Gear wise the Flallins end their season on par with Tysok's other team, the Minotaurs. The Minotaurs have played in only 13 games so far in their season with an 11-2 record so far. Once this goes to print we expect the Flallins fans will, again, put a price on the overlords head.

Hopefully the Flallins next season will be better. RIP to the fallin' Flallins.
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