Steal Plates release Zyfokue

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Steal Plates release Zyfokue

Postby TheIceMage » Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:59 am

The bad blood has boiled over. The Steal Plates announced that they have released "veteran" goalie Zyfokue from his contract today. As he left the team barracks, he could be heard yelling his name as loud as he could, though he kept leaving off the first syllable for some reason.

Zyfokue has been active for seven seasons, accumulating just under 400 minutes of play time, which is a meager average of 57 minutes, or barely two games, per season.

His greatest achievement was to be ranked the #10 goalie in his last season, when the Steal Plates took home the gold medal in Division I play. Prior to that, he frequently complained loudly about not getting enough play time. Management apparently tired of listening to his complaints.

When asked to comment, a spokesman for the Steal Plates said, "He's a fine, fine goalie and we are confident that he will do well to find a home on some lesser team."
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Steal Plates versus Zed's Society of the Dead

Postby TheIceMage » Sat Apr 14, 2007 10:14 am

In a way, this was a :twisted: grudge match.

Zed's Society of the Dead picked up Zyfokue, who on March 22 was released by the Steal Plates and last Thursday made his debut against his old team. Zed was being cautious, not putting Zyfokue on the first line, so he did not actually step onto the field until late in the third period, but as soon as he did, you could see former roommate Gipysinc's radar go off immediately.

Gipysinc made a beeline for Zyfokue, who so far had caught a pass and thrown one in the 27 seconds he was on the field. He had just caught his second pass and was looking for an open player when Gipysinc blindsided him spike-first. A deafening *CrUNcH* was heard all the way to the top of the stadium!

Zed's home crowd let out a collective "Ooooooooooh" and then held its breath as Zyfokue gurgled and slid off Gipysinc's spike and onto the ground. In that moment, the entire stadium was so quiet, you could hear the dead orc's body as it hit the ground. This was followed immediately by the ball, the sound of which seemed to bring all orcs back to the game at hand.

It was the only knockout in the game, but the extreme violence seems to have been a personal message to Zed about how the game is really played.

Their third matchup of the season is tonight, and the stadium is completely sold out. There is talk that Zyfokue's regeneration chamber will be wheeled to the Society of the Dead bench to motivate his players, but talk in the Steal Plates locker room suggests that this would only be a reminder of the violent end awaiting the rest of Zed's team.
39-21-23-72 on 4/9/2009
34-11-14-38 on 12/5/2007
30-8-9-33 on 5/2/2007
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Postby randomluck » Sun Apr 15, 2007 10:52 pm

ICE:
If you ever create a book of the best orc sports Press Releases, I'm buyin it for this one. Great job.
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Postby TheIceMage » Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:50 am

The dust has settled on this rivalry, and the Steal Plates have come out smelling like a rose. An orcish rose (so you probably don't want to really take a whiff), but a rose nonetheless.

The final score: Steal Plates 22, Society of the Dead 5. With 25% more hits coming from the Steal Plates, the death toll stands at three, all from Zed's team. We are pretty sure Zed is going to re-think the "regeneration chamber on the sideline" strategy since that's all his orcs could look at the entire game. Their play was distracted and sloppy, which opened them up for the higher-than-usual knockout count.

Depending on how well Dan's Brutal Bashers and Flint's Kindred do in the remaining six games, the Steal Plates and Society of the Dead could potentially meet in the playoffs this season. The Steal Plates coach is quoted as saying, "Boy, I hope so - we could use an easy win." The clipboard in his hand showed the season calendar with the upcoming games against Tuneloon and Brakgwar circled in heavy red marker.

We'll see how the season plays out!
39-21-23-72 on 4/9/2009
34-11-14-38 on 12/5/2007
30-8-9-33 on 5/2/2007
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