Only good looking Orcs need Apply!

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Only good looking Orcs need Apply!

Postby randomluck » Tue Apr 10, 2007 11:04 am

!!WANTED!!
!!NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY - WILL TRAIN!!

Tired of the 9 to 5? Unhappy in your job? No skills?
Have you ever punched a coworker -- and they laughed it off?
Were you the last picked in Gym class?

If you answered 'Yes' to all the above we have the perfect position for you -- THE FIRST LINE. We have an urgent need for Orcs to fill open spots in a new Orc Team -- AND IT COULD BE YOU.

"Not the Face! Not the Face!" is the team where your lack of skills and complete ineptitude will let you fit in with those as incompetent as you!

Hey, everyone else is upping their standards...now up yours!
Contact:
Not the Face! Not the Face!
222 Cowering Lane
Wastelands, Orcoria A6B-J5g
The Black Belt Beaters
Honest Tricksters
Followers of One Fang
Three Claws
Fifth Times the Charm
Not the Face! Not the Face!
Mwuhahaha
User avatar
randomluck
Elite Overlord
 
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2006 10:35 pm

Postby randomluck » Sun Apr 15, 2007 11:12 pm

The response to the want ads was tremendous! Orcs from all walks of life showed up for tryouts, and none were turned down! There is the 40 year-old mother Ditkobus, whose son, Kefwhatgis, also plays on the team.

"Kef's just upset I got First string, and he's a benchwarmer! Woohoo! Take that Mr. 'Don't-know-nothin-bout-the-game'."

Amazingly, some stars do seem to shine within this hometown pack of ordinaries. Hyzgozqy seems a decent goalkeeper from the Floyid clan, but his partner in Wommhaya appears a little weak.

But perhaps the strangest story comes from Hackjoreov who, when asked "why are you hear" responded with "I'm just here for the Bud Light." Hey, from what NTF!NTF! paid for him, thats about all he can afford.

The challenge is, can the Overlord and the famous Coach Buttons turn this rag-tag bunch of outright losers into a somewhat cohesive team. Well, with the first game a buy, we'll see who shows up on the police blotter tonight!
The Black Belt Beaters
Honest Tricksters
Followers of One Fang
Three Claws
Fifth Times the Charm
Not the Face! Not the Face!
Mwuhahaha
User avatar
randomluck
Elite Overlord
 
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2006 10:35 pm

Just more nonsense

Postby randomluck » Tue Apr 24, 2007 11:07 am

Reporter: Despite all odds, Not the Face!Not the Face! successfully won all four of their games this season. With a fifth game tonight, we are here today with Gwenengips, one of the members of the team to determine tonight strategy.

I?ll be honest with you, your team?s success so far was unexpected. To what do you contribute your teams success?

Gwenengips: We are not a bruiser team, although we have managed to inflict severe damage and several of our players rank high in the Bruiser category, I think this is temporary. It?s still early in the season, and our lack of experience will catch up with us. Instead, I think our ?passing? and ?scoring? are exceptional, the so-called ?soft? skills which are helping us out. We even had our HR department print out pamphlets stressing the importance of these soft skills.

Reporter: The armor helps, too.

Gwenengips: Yes, that helps as well. The money we saved on hiring employees means we could get everyone in the lines armor, and those on the front lines have full leather. Nice to have in a novice league.

Reporter: The team has severe specialization, with every player only having experience in a single area. The loss of a single player means no one can back him up. This seems like a weakness in my opinion?how do you view it?

Gwenengips: Well, we consider it a form of equality. Unlike many other teams out there where some players are stars in multiple areas?it causes divisiveness. I hear rumors of individuals, but I won?t mention any names for Obkakoks sake (he plays for the Honest Tricksters), fighting to get on the field as either a Wing or Defenseman because they are great at both positions. This type of infighting can?t be good. On this team I know I?m good at Defense, and I know Ceznidawi is good at Wing. I?m not after his position, and he?s not after mine. We are at peace with one another. Therefore, we work together harmoniously.

Reporter: We understand your team has had a tough time finding funding outside the field. What is your opinion of the off field activities and how does your team plan on adjusting for them?

Gwenengips: First off, yes, we have had some difficulties finding financing. Right now we are looking into investment bankers and some Venture Capitalists for our IPO. We do have some exciting endorsements in the works.

Reporter: Yes, I?d like to bring up your most recent endorsement offer. Specifically, the ?Girl Scout Cookie? deal.

Gwenengips: That was blown completely out of proportion.

Reporter: Our reports indicate during a recent outing by NTF!NTF! a troop of girls received a ?Martial Arts? Badges and two received ?Inventive uses for Sharp Pointy Stick? badge?

Gwenengips: Look, they are not called ?Troops? for no reason!

Reporter: A third girl released a book ?How to Serve Orc: 99 Recipes for the Common Greenskin?.

Gwenengips: I don't want to talk about it!

Reporter: Think there?s any truth to the rumors your opposition has purchased the book and plans on trying out new recipes tonight.

Gwenengips: Turn off the camera?

Reporter: That would explain why the Dawg Pound?s new uniform is chef aprons with the saying ?Kill the Chef?. And they are armed with Steel Spatulas from the look of it. They even have a George Foreman BBQ Grill, nice equipment...

Gwenengips: That?s it. This interview is over?I?m outta here!

(pause)

Reporter: Well, that was rookie Gwenengips with the NTF!NTF!, the latest team in orcsports with an unusual strategy. Wooo?look at this?Dark Orc meat with Saut?ed Mushrooms. I'll have to check that out after the game...
The Black Belt Beaters
Honest Tricksters
Followers of One Fang
Three Claws
Fifth Times the Charm
Not the Face! Not the Face!
Mwuhahaha
User avatar
randomluck
Elite Overlord
 
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2006 10:35 pm


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