Orcku

[randomluck]

Really, I don't have any excuse for the following other than my insanity. My apologies in advance to the Japanese and mangling their ancient traditions. For that mfatter, my apologies to anyone with any modicum of decency regarding...well, anything really.

Denver, being the birthplace of Orcsports, recently held an exhibition of orc related art at the Denver Museum of Orc Art. Many of the current leagues best players were asked to provide some poetry to help show the ?finer? side to orc life. I was fortunate enough to attend the event, meet with some of the players, and see them in that greatest of feats: writing poetry for later generations. Course, a few needed help understanding the concept, but most were pretty quick on the uptake when it came to writing ?Orcku?.

First up is one I remember most poignantly comes from Fumweufcle (C3 ? Randomluck?s Big City Boys):

Like cute butterfly,
I flit around on the field.
Until stepped on.

This is in direct comparison to Minavatbuzz (D3 - Brak?s Err gho Fizh! me av nunez ) much simpler and direct verse:

Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.
Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.
Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.

When told his work lacked feelings Minavatbuzz modified it as follows:

KILL!! KILL!! KILL!! KILL!! KILL!!
KILL!! KILL!! KILL!! KILL!! KILL!! KILL!! KILL!!
KILL!! KILL!! KILL!! KILL!! KILL!!

He then responded, ?Exclamations show emotion?. His work was declared a masterpiece and is displayed prominently at the entrance to the exhibit. Another great piece was written by Bakhijasm, playing for Marc?s Shipton Reaverz:

Cold metal sliver,
Shiny, sharp and so pretty
Through Armor -- My spleen!

Perhaps it was foreshadowing as Bakhijasm is currently in the regen tank. Unfortunately, it was not easy for some to get their creative juices flowing. But they persevered and managed to change their focus to the difficulty in writing the poetry, as this piece from Edelene (Chris?s Brawler?s) demonstrates:

Ouch! Words not come! Ouch!
Minavatbuzz kicking me
under the table.

Lastly, a few focused on other aspects of their work, showing they have concerns outside of the sport. Kwulbint of Bubbauk?s Grim Reapers definitely exemplifies this in his piece:

Nagging doubt creeps in,
Have enough? No! Note to self:
Get Life insurance.

Lastly, more than a few commented on their feelings towards their boss, like this piece from Fetegduz (Randomluck?s Big City Boys):

Lies! He Lies! The Pain!
Overlord untrustworthy!
Kill him while he sleeps!

Unfortunately, the event came to a tragic end when Ettiene?s team showed up and ate the curator.

[Dizzy]

One-point goals are good.
Three-point goals are much better.
Spike everything else.

When the match begins,
The grass is a pleasant green.
It's red by the end.

My toughness is 1.
Need to spend more time in jail.
Throw the book at me!

We are the white team.
When we boot you in the face,
Pretty blue sparks fly.

Excuse me, kind sir,
I believe you have my ball.
Let's make this easy.

Have pity on me:
I am worth two hundred bucks.
Here until doomsday.

A thumb in his eye
Ensures you have the focus
Of the other one.

Jump the defender.
The ball leaves my fingertips...
Perfect corner shot.

Final playoff game.
We're ready to take the field.
Tolerance is what!?

[randomluck]

Way to go, Dizzy! Let your orcs show their pride...no...no...keep your armor on, please.

"Worth 2 hundred bucks" killed me.

Keep up the good work.

[TheIceMage]

I wish I were half as creative as my game's players!

[randomluck]

I wish I were half as creative as my game's players!

Dude! Not Creative! Nothing is farther from the truth. You created this thing, that's like the most of creative work of all. Without it, no posts like this would exist. Your like the father to all of us!

Speaking of which, could I have the car keys, dad?

[TheIceMage]

Your like the father to all of us!

Speaking of which, could I have the car keys, dad?

It's not enough that I offered tickets to the game (which are still available)?

[randomluck]

Your like the father to all of us!

Speaking of which, could I have the car keys, dad?

It's not enough that I offered tickets to the game (which are still available)?

Believe me, I'd take you up on the offer if I could go. However, wife has a girl scout meeting so I'm home with the munchkins.

[TheIceMage]

Drat! Ah, well. Just as in OrcSports, there's always next season.

[bubbauk]

wow randomluck. how old is your wife if she still has girl scout meetings. haha just kidding.

and


ummmm, dad, i need some money.

[TheIceMage]

I have these tickets
Nobody seems to want them
Freecycle, maybe?

[bubbauk]

My orcs usually have this to repeat over and over before a game:

We go into Battle
We fight for our fearless leader
We have no Armor


Plate is the best
Chain is what we need
Padding we have

[randomluck]

wow randomluck. how old is your wife if she still has girl scout meetings. haha just kidding.

When I met Marie I thought she was the smartest woman I'd ever met...then she married me, so guess I was mistaken....

Take the following exchange:

Me: "Hey, at what age do I get to trade you in for the trophy wife?"
Wife: "I am the trophy wife."
Me: "Dang, I'm good! Got it on the first shot!"

[TheIceMage]

So to paraphrase:

Marie is so smart
Then again, she married me
Maybe I was wrong

Where's my trophy wife?
I'm your trophy wife, smart guy.
Cool! Got it in one.

[bubbauk]

show off!

[TheIceMage]

I can't count to five
Also can't count to seven
I am just an orc